Weekend of Storms

August 28, 2011
I have been eating and watching TV (Netflix…My So-Called Life) all weekend. Thanks to Irene I have been stuck in the house. So right now, I’m not hungry but I am searching for something to eat. I want iced coffee but I can’t have it cause I’ll be up all night. Listen to me. I will be up all night anyway. I want cookies and cream or Blue Bunny salty and sweet pretzel ice cream but we are out. So I’ll eat anything else in the house which, can be a lot. My mom is famous for her normally stocked cabinets.

I did go for a walk today but it was not enough. I need to get out of the house. This weekend wasn’t the only time I’ve been staying in the house. I stay in all the time. I have been driving with no destination. New York to Jersey to New York but think I need someplace to drive to. Someplace that wants me. Maybe someplace I could write. I’m so close to finishing.

I have been trying to plan a vacation but I have had no help from the other person. It has completely sucked the fun I have planning a vacation. Should have made uncertain plans during the commercials of Top Gear so I could call the place a dozen more times.

After this weekend I am believing it is better to be alone. I am and do better alone. I’m tired of people ignoring me instead of saying, “I hate you”. I’m tired of people saying they will be there for you when they will be but only when it suits them. I’m tired of not being able to give up. I’m tired of getting no where. I’m tired of men taking advantage of me. I’m tired of people asking am I all right like I’m not allowed to be anything other than happy. I’m tired of worrying about everything and I’m tired of not being tried. I’ll just live in my head, put it on paper, and make a story.

Thinking about Tattoos

August 16, 2011
Tattoos are popular. It is hard not to find someone without some sort of permanent artwork on the body. Some may just get a tattoo just to have a tattoo. Something picked off a wall. Most have tattoos with a meaning behind the art covering their bodies.

I love reading and tattoos have always fascinated me. I have learned Sylvia Plath was drawn to a tattoo shop and after a night of spending time, looking over Tattoos and talking with a tattooist she had a morning of writing and a desire to return to that atmosphere at a later date (Anchor Books; Part 3, Boston 1958-1959, Page 261-2; Thursday, September 18). I don’t remember how I came across the book “The Book Made of Flesh: Literary Tattoos from Bookworms Worldwide” Edited by Eva Talmadge & Justin Taylor but it shows strangers tattoos of favorite works of literature. This is not a review of the book but I enjoyed seeing and learning the story behind people’s tattoos (all literary). It was everything I love to learn about tattoos.

My best friend, as one example, has 14 or more (It’s hard to keep count). Actually now that I am thinking about it most of my friends have tattoos. Some have even drawn the art themselves. What makes me different? To permanent. If I’m going to live with this, look at it everyday, I’m worried that I may grow tired of it. I can remove it now but that could leave a scar. I could cover it with another tattoo but it would have to be something I know would cover it. I could get a tattoo having to do with my first love…writing but I haven’t found anything that I would want forever. Maybe the book, “Literary Tattoos from Bookworms Worldwide” made me a little envious. All so sure of their favorite author, quote, word, poem, book, etc.

People should take tattoos more seriously. People turn 18 and they run out to get a tattoo. Most never think. I know so many people who regret their tattoo choice. I would have. When I was 19 many of my friends were getting tattoos. I was accompanying many of them. I thought I wanted a tribal gecko on my hip. I didn’t tell anyone because I was worried someone would do the same. Well, a friend got a tribal gecko on her hip. It’s hard to be original and we change. Now I would hate if I had that on me anywhere. It’s not me at all.

What about the tattoo artist? What happens if you are lead to believe he is good and he messes up? You now live with his mistake. We’ve all seen those web pages. Misspellings, crap work, crap art, etc.

Walking into a parlor think about what you liked 10 years ago. Think about what you like now. You change. It’s natural. I like hearing people say I got this and it still means something to me because it reminds me of this time and this emotion. Before you look at me with head cocked to one side and that questionable look on your face trying to figure out why I don’t have a tattoo when I love other’s tattoos so much know if I ever do get one it will be the right one.

 

Rejection Letters

August 8, 2011
I was going through my e-mail and (since I don’t delete as I probably should) I kept my submissions and rejections letters from a short story I tried to publish a few years ago. These letters don’t hold insults or special cause why they rejected it. These letters are just bland letters telling me I didn’t win the contest, they didn’t pick my story, and to try again next year. I was wondering should I delete them or print them out and hang them on my wall.  Would these letters help me write or could they discourage my writing? Do I need them because I have been writing well lately.

Pet Peeves

July 5, 2011
I wonder why people even decide to own animals if they are not going to take care of them.

You bring an animal into your home and say I will care for this animal. Feed, and nurture the pet. They will have love and a home with me. Then you leave it out all the time. Don’t take it to the vet. I have neighbors with pets and what makes me angry is the lack of care they show their animals.

I have owned many pets over the years, mostly dogs. I feed, cared, and cleaned up after them. I have no pets now because I know that I don’t have the time or money to take care of them. I wouldn’t be able to travel because I wouldn’t trust many people with my pet and I wouldn’t want expect them to take away from their time and watch my pet. These are the responsibilities I know come with owning an animal.

People hate stepping in shit and yet it surprises me how many people will not clean up after their dog. Let their cat out all day, everyday so they are almost hit by a car a few times a day. Leave others caring, feeding, cleaning up after the pet. Take responsibility for your pet. Either start taking care of it or give it to someone who will. You don’t truly care for your animal if you leave it to others to care for it.

Clean up after your dog. Keep your cats indoors. Respect your neighbor and care for your animals.

A Writer’s Life For Me?

May 10, 2011
I have trouble writing. I have trouble making a schedule. Sitting down, not being distracted and writing. I struggle. I have read many books, have taken classes, and I can’t seem to write. I was doing okay while taking writing courses in college. I have tried to make my writing a job. I would freelance if I was given assignments. I can’t seem to come up with topics myself. I have trouble thinking about articles to write. When I wrote for Celebrity Cafe and joonbug I did a fine job of writing. I have been doing an okay writing for ShoeStyle.co.I am a procrastinator. I am a perfectionist. I will correct as I’m going no matter how often I repeat to myself, “First draft is always shit”. I have tried to write in the morning, at night and I struggle. I can’t find anywhere to write.

Even this post took me a long time to write.

 

Emotion

April 16, 2011
I am a pot that boils slow. People always see me happy and always think me such. They don’t think I could be angry. But I can be angry. There are others that hate me when I’m sad. They think since I always appear to be happy I must always be happy. Then there are others who would wonder what do I have to be sad about.

I am told if I am to have a blog I need something to stir the masses. If I want people to come to my blog I will have to be more passionate and controversial about things. Make people want to argue against my opinion.

Should I be more angry? Would more people read my blog or listen to me if I was complaining about everything? I think this could only work if I could swing it to be entertaining. Everyone complains about something but the ones who are listened to are the ones that have made it funny, angry or heart wrenching.

Facebook has turned into a slue of people whining and begging for attention. They are the student jumping out of their seat with their hands waving in the air yelping. More people sign off. But when someone can make a journey a funny, adventures, struggle with a clear point, well we all sign on. Writing any topic can be done but no one will read your story if it isn’t interesting and emotional.

My emotions written down don’t sound fun or interesting. They sound complaining and I won’t put readers through that.

 

One Blog Two Blogs

April 3, 2011
I find it amazing how many people have two or three blogs. With my new internship I have sometimes been given the task to search for emails of bloggers on certain topics so we can ask if they would like to review an upcoming book. With this task I find so many people will have a gardening blog, baking/cooking blog, and a baseball blog. Yet, I can barely uphold one. I guess since many of these peoples blogs can be seasonal they can move to another topic and never miss a writing opportunity.

I have tried and failed at a few blogs. I have tried to make specific subject blogs as I have heard from the experts is the proper way to blog. Truth is people wouldn’t just want to read the rambling of a stranger unless the reader was sure it was a topic that they love getting information on. In the past on my specific blogs I have become trapped, out of subtopics or bored sticking with the same theme. That is why I decided to make this blog’s subject matter my thoughts. Sure no one my know me and they will probably not want to read it but who cares, I’m writing. I’m putting something (thoughts, topics, concerns, complaints) out into the world wide whatever. So are they and they actually have readers.

When It Rains

March 13, 2011
Searching for jobs is a specialty of mine. I have it down to an organized system. It looks like all that hard work has paid off. I have had one interview at a publishing house for an internship. Part time, possible hire at the end of three months. It looks very hopeful if I work my butt off and I can and will work my butt off. I will also be able to check a dream off my list. I have always wanted to work in a publishing house.

What I find funny is the day before I was excepted into the position I scheduled a phone interview with another company. This was a full-time proofreading position. I still took the interview. Think I did well. Then checked my e-mail to have another phone interview to schedule but that would be a move to West Virgina.

I write this because I find it amusing. Working so hard and applying to so many jobs and then it is, three in almost one week. I laughed. I’m also writing this for others who are looking and frustrated. There is a silver lining.

Freelance Career

March 4, 2011
I envy my friends who work freelance careers. I am still out of work, not for a lack of trying, and I would love to start writing freelance articles. It would be nice to make my own hours, be my own boss, and write different topics. Not sit in an office surfing the web because you finished all the work assigned.

So, what is holding me back? My friends who work their own freelance business have customers come to them and tell them what they (the costumers) want. Yes, they are established in their careers but they are also in careers that seem to need a customers input.

As a writer I am suppose to be full of ideas and pitch these original ideas to experts and editors at magazines and websites. I have written for other websites in my past internships. One was celebrity news and the other was mostly culinary, which as an editor I wrote mostly restaurant openings, recipes, and upcoming TV/food news. I remember the articles I had the most fun researching and writing. My interviews with Thomas Jane, John Debney, and Bokeem Woodbine or my Top Gear article. (Loved talking to people, being out of the office, and taking pictures. It is what I thought the life was about.)

The point is I’m not full ideas. Even this blog can be a struggle. I can research and write articles. There are many book about freelancing and not one covers where a writer can find topics to write about.

Where do freelance writers find their ideas?

 

How Fast Is Not Fast Enough?

February 24, 2011
The Fisker Karma Hybrid car was covered on G4 last night. I was interested by the segment because environment friendly doesn’t usually go hand and hand with sports car. When I hear hybrid I think of the ugly, slow Prius. I still don’t understand why cars have to be ugly because they’re responsible. This car looks good.

Expected in 2012 the specs were said to be as followed:

Expected to go up to 50 miles on battery before switching to gas. “Not very far.”

0-60 in 6 seconds…I think, “Huh, not bad.”

Top speed of 95mph.

Me: “Oh, it only tops 95.”
Other: “Why? Do you need a car to go faster?”
Me: “If a car is going to be labeled a sports car top speed needs to be, at least, 160.”
Other: “When would you ever go or need to go 95 let alone 160?”

I put in many unlikely scenarios here: car chase (James Bond, Transporter style, police chase) or unexpected drag race for slips but he wasn’t buying it. He looked at me in the ‘I’m being silly” way and the conversation was stopped. Just because I may never have the opportunity to take my car to top speed doesn’t mean I don’t want cars to strive for fast and friendly. I want my car pretty (insert manly term), fun, and fast.

Not like any of this matters. At $100,000 I will not be in the market to buy one. And if I did have the money lets be honest…I want a new Mustang (maybe a Boss or Shelby), or 1972 Dodge Charger without the spoiler.

I like my car with muscle.