“I’ll kiss you until we can’t breathe. I’ll strip you naked and taste every inch of you. Then I’ll shag you until neither of us can see straight.”
Meljean Brook, The Iron Duke
“I’ll kiss you until we can’t breathe. I’ll strip you naked and taste every inch of you. Then I’ll shag you until neither of us can see straight.”
Meljean Brook, The Iron Duke
“I don’t like being without him. I don’t love being alone any more.”
Angelina Jolie
I’m having this unexplained desire to wear one of my corsets. I would put on one of my favorite if I had somewhere to go or someone to see but I need someone to retie the back. It makes me sad to know if I do go out and want to wear it with a pair of jeans I can’t. Nothing to worry about tonight, I’m not going anywhere but I wish I never let a corset seller “fix it”.
Women are evil. Whenever I’ve bought a corset most of the women tie it so tight the first time. I know the front should be touching but I love when the sizer asks, “Can you breath?”
Never answer yes especially if you’re a skinny girl. Those women Hate skinny girls. They yank the strings, lifting your feet off the floor, and your breast to your chin until it’s a “perfect fit”.
Why can’t I wear my favorite corset? I had lost some weight and I was planning to gain it back but the store I bought the corset from years before saw it wasn’t fitting right and the women offered to fix it. She should have had me pull it higher on my body because it had slipped down. I question now if she really knew how a corset should fit. She tired it so tight in the back it overlapped (Not happy about that since it could have ruined the fabric). Also, it didn’t sit right on my body and dug into my ribs and hips wrong. I can deal with the pain a corset first gives after being out of practice wearing it but this was worst. I walked around like this for a few hours thinking it wasn’t the corset but me not use to it fitting again. The pain made me grumpy since I couldn’t breath and had trouble walking. Now my favorite corset is sitting in my closet waiting for Ren faire next year so a corset women can be mean to me and try to stop me from breathing and eating because I’m skinny.
Like I can’t just leave the store and loosen it…like I do.
Sigh…I want to wear a corset.
When you’re hungry and it clouds what you would want to eat. So you become starving and eat anything. So unsatisfying.
The plan. I am going to write at least 500 words tonight. If I can do this I will allow myself some Mass Effect game time. Trying the work and reward system. This should fill the lonely night.
Come on productiveness!
I had a dream last night I cut my hair. I was in the shower and I was just tired with how long it was, how I can’t seem to do anything to it and I wanted a change, something different. So I turned off the shower, step out, and the scissors were right there on the bathroom vanity. I picked them up grabbed a piece of my hair decided on a length and cut. I remember hearing the static of blade cutting through a chunk of hair. I held the hair in my hand. It hung down on either side of my clenched fist. I wondered what I would do with this piece of hair. I looked in the mirror, still holding the cut hair and thought, to short? but, really, I was satisfied. Satisfied I did it and nothing stopped me. It will grow back, I thought. Then my mom was behind me and I asked her if she could finish the job and “make sure the rest comes out somewhat even.” She said, “You could have just made an appointment to get it cut.” I remember thinking, then it would never happen. I woke up.
Funny how this silly GIF of Mulan cutting her hair made me remember that dream.
Our lips opened and our tongues played. My teeth gently pulled. He paused, “kiss me.” A small smile curled my mouth as we met again. This time as my teeth released his lip, “just kiss me without the teeth. A normal kiss.” We kissed again. When we separated again, “wasn’t that nice.” I nodded only thinking later, “He would try and change me.”
I am unemployed. My “free” time is looking and applying to jobs. I have projects I am working on but they are not producing money just yet. I hope this blog doesn’t put me or others in a poor light but just because I’m unemployed doesn’t mean you can take advantage of my time.
I guess most people have the image of an unemployed person sitting in their parents house, watching TV or playing video games and doing nothing not trying to benefit themselves. Unemployment is seen by some to be a wanted life of not having to do anything and not having go to the office from 9-5 and deal with whatever it is you hate dealing with at work.
So people are kind and will offer me a job to help them out in their business. First these people never give you a properly figured out time schedule. It will always only take one day or a few. They make it sound like this is a job you are helping them with when in the end you are doing it by yourself. They always tell you while you are doing the job how much they didn’t want to do it so they waited till last minute and than gave the job to you. If it happens to take more then the one day (which it does) they can string you along. Whether they intend to or not is never clear but I do believe one thing, because you are unemployed they think you need this and will wait for them to be ready.
Now I am frustrated. I worked one day on a tedious project. I thought it was me helping this woman. I worked on the project alone. I didn’t realize how big the project was going to be. I worked the whole day. I only took a break to eat. I didn’t waste time smart phoning. At the end of the day I was no where near finishing this project. I waited days being told they had more important things to take care of so the project was off. Weather got bad so no project. Months have gone by and this person called yesterday. I was busy so I didn’t get a chance to call her back. They called again this morning. I guess what else do I have to do since I’m out of work but jump when they say so.
Before you think I’m whining and tell me:
this person is trying to “helped” you
they could really use the help
It’s some extra cash for you
It should only take a few days what else are you doing
I don’t agree. Maybe it’s best you stop reading.
Worst is friends will try and make it sound like you should be thankful. I don’t need to be congratulated because I’m getting payed or helping out someone. I don’t need you to be excited for me or cheer me up when I try to explain to them my frustration.
Maybe I did make a mistake majoring in a subject I am passionate about, a subject I enjoy. I should have majored in a subject that would guarantee a job. I should have struggled and hated a career just because it paid well.
Most think I should have become a nurse like Mom. It pays and has great benefits. Yes, I could have became a nurse, doctor or assistant but don’t you feel the problem with the medical profession is most people never wanted that profession in the first place. Don’t you see and feel when you walk into a doctor’s office the assistant who could really care less about how you feel. The clinic that just moves you alone to just get you out. The elderly hospital that leaves someone in a wet bed because it’s not their job to clean them. That’s a human being! That could be you mother or father! I’ve seen people not help someone to the bathroom because that was not there job. Really?! That person is just asking for a helping hand. But no, they will get the nurse.
Maybe I should have stayed in my dead end retail job with no health care benefits, poor pay, or appreciation just because it was a job. I did love hearing everyday customer’s insults and put downs because I was a “dumb” cashier. Yes, I was a cashier but that doesn’t mean I’m not educated.
It is a bad economy but I don’t think that gives anyone the right to take advance of others. People should be more considerate. I hate talking about the economy, hearing advice about job searching and I hate how I should have went into this or have I thought about that.
I paid my way through college. I have no loans. You picked and payed for your child’s college so they graduate with a job. You gave them a car. They still get in trouble and their grades drop. I think I am more than capable of getting any job. I’m looking for something more filling. But thanks for helping me waste my time.
Sorry for the vent.
“Tyrion says that people often claim to hunger for truth, but seldom like the taste when it’s served up.”
– George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings
To bad there isn’t a box I can check stating, Scared to Death. It would forgive any mistakes I made in the cover letter after I send it out. I know from experience one mistake can prevent you from getting a job. I kicked myself when I didn’t send a follow up saying, “I did see I made this mistake after I sent it.” But company probably would have still told me to bad. Maybe do better next time. Wish I sent a cover letter with a resume recently to a job in Georgia. Guess I don’t have to worry about moving.
Scared to death because it has been so long since I’ve had a job, I wonder if I even know if I’m going in the right direction. Scared to death because I’m tired of the 9-5 grind in a dull office with no or so few windows that look out at another gray building. Tired of working my ass off and getting nothing because I didn’t participate in the employee ass kissing contest so I’m ignored.
Wish I could be some genus and think of some great idea and I could be the boss or co-boss of. Don’t have the mind for it. To fearful. Wish I could stop searching, stop worrying, and just be happy.
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