I thought I trained my brain to write in the afternoon then last night my mind wouldn’t turn off. I was comfortable in bed with the light off and my brain started to weave words. I was tired and when I’m tired I always think everything sounds noble prize brilliant. I didn’t have a notebook and pen by my bed (what happen to my night notebook?). I didn’t have my phone either. (It is best left charging in the other room incase of 3am emergency alerts.)
Why didn’t I get up and listen to the muse that decided the best time to visit was bed time? I can’t help but think of Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED talk and that quote by Tom Waits where a muse or melody visited him while he was driving and he said, “Excuse me, can you not see that I’m driving? Do I look like I can write down a song right now? If you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment when I can take care of you. Otherwise, go bother somebody else today.”
I guess my muse is still in adolescence and although it might see me showing up to the table it doesn’t always feel like writing when I do. It would rather stay in bed and sleep in some days. Then as the light switches off it remembers all it had to say and decides it can’t wait until morning. Now, when the words come, I can sleep because I have less anxiety knowing I’m not missing a story I can write tomorrow. Sometimes, in the morning, I am disappointed I can’t remember what was running through my head but I move on. I start the day with my writing schedule. Occasionally, I find the muse shows up to the table and those days we work in harmony. Those are the days I’m fighting for so I have my nights for sleep.
Tag: Writing
Spring…Er…Summer Cleaning
I have kept many notebooks and journals with “poems,” ideas for novels and short stories scribbled between their pages. It shouldn’t be surprising when I started using my laptop to write I would hoard it on my hard drive and I have. Recently, I decided it was time to go through and organize my computer. I was cleaning and organizing my laptop and I found many story and article ideas that have lead nowhere. I deleted some. For this small feet I am so proud of myself. It is hard for me to throw away anything I have written. I still find and keep tiny pieces of paper with sentences I have created falling out of other notebooks of scribes I swear I’ll need one day.
A few I finished and put on this blog. The last two post, “Go Out And Adopt a Pet” and “To Whom Ink May Concern” were two articles in my documents never being read. “Adopt a Pet” was an article I wrote as a writing sample for a job application (which I didn’t get). “Ink” was a blog article I was writing for years. I thought it should finally be finished and see the light of day. I put most away into files but now what to do with them? I keep asking myself, “Will I use these ideas and create a short story, novel, or screenplay out of them? There aren’t as many on my laptop or computer as there are in my closet.
Diaries, journals, and notebooks collecting dust with sentences I’ll never use. Do I just burn or shred everything without a glance or read and edit it all waiting for the day I may use it? I guess the best thing would be to throw them out but I must go through them first. Memories and feelings I have forgotten. I read through one of my diaries once. It was hilarious. I recalled that I was just as ridiculous (I’m not talking about rude or obnoxious) at 18 or 22 as every other 18 or 22 year old. I think I would like my novel to be like Roman á clef and use those times/feelings in a book but will I? I know these are the questions every writer asks themselves but the feeling can be overwhelming. Some of the young pieces, like the short story I wrote when I was 12, I will keep. This stage in my life reminds me of a quote from Edgar Degas which said, “Painting is easy when you don’t know how, but very difficult when you do.” They are cute, funny, and a memento of when I thought all I wrote was a priceless piece ready for publication.
Cleaning is causing me to make decisions and with these little things I’ve created it feels like a big deal. However, I know no matter how much you like a piece or section sometimes it doesn’t fit and you need to edit it out. You can put it on the side and hope to use it somewhere else one day but it is very unlikely it’s ever used again.
How do you keep your writing? Do you have an expiration date before you can delete it, do you trash right away, or do you keep every thought that makes it on paper (or screen)? How do you organize these scraps of ideas?
Whisked Away But Not Wasted Time
Friday. What happen to the week? I can say I am not ready to post and I don’t have a topic this week. This week I haven’t been focused on writing as much as reading. I have had the goal to finish A Dance With Dragons (A Song Of Ice And Fire #5) by George R.R. Martin and just did today. I feel relieved to finally be done and caught up but whenever I end one of these books I’m left with a little anxiety over the cliff hangers. Grrr. But it was a good read and week even with the lack of writing.
With that over I want to move on to a lighter read so I have more time to write. This means next Friday won’t sneak up on me (I hope) and I’ll have a story to tell. Until then here is a quote I think fits me and this week:
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams
A Day Outside The Library
Sitting outside the New York Public Library. A little girl runs up to her mother pulling a picture book out of the red lion imprinted brown paper bag. Her words are French but her excitement is unmistakable. She is talking fast and I don’t understand the words meaning but I know why she is animated. Here is a little girl thrilled over a book. Her father and I share a smile. We understand each other. But in the moment I see a family’s exhilaration over a child’s enthusiasm for a book purchase I become sad. Others like to say dead tree editions of books are quite literally dead. Does that mean people will miss out on child’s thrill for reading. I can’t imagine a child getting excited about a downloaded picture Kindle edition book like that little girl did. As long as children read I don’t care the platform. I wonder how many Library card and book eager faces the regal lions have seen? It’s possible the lions at the New York Public Library branch have a superpower most places don’t. Or will they see less keen faces over books and more camera flashes with stories of paper past.
Simple Writing Advice
I think I’ve seen this video in the past or maybe I the quote somewhere but I have found it again and I thought I would share. If you haven’t seen it watch it. It is from Ira Glass. It is not just advice for writers but to all people in creative work. If you’ve seen it, watch it again. Nothing like a friendly reminder that you’re not alone and you have to keep fighting for what you want. If you can’t watch it this second, (you’re reading this a work right now aren’t you. No judgement.) I have posted the text below. So be inspired. Don’t feel so alone. Keep fighting.
“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”
– Ira Glass
I have a few other quotes and speeches that help me trucking along. Stay tune for more advice form others that helps me keep going on a troublesome writing day. Do you have simple advice that keeps you writing?
Query Criticism
If you’ve been reading along you know I’ve been sending out queries. Most of the responses have been general rejection until a few weeks ago. Whenever a submission’s response pops into my inbox I am uncertain of the outcome. Crazy I know because I think if it was good news they would call me. But always, this little part of me hopes they accepted my story and want to schedule a meeting to discuss something along the lines of publishing. So far most submission responses have been generic rejections except for the last one. I finally got a rejection with some positive and the negative feedback.
It’s amazing how criticism can stop someone in their tracks. I was looking for more places to send, writing more stories, writing and promoting this blog when this email made me stop and think. Why am I writing? But it took me some time to continue on and just say, “this is one story. This isn’t the end.” Also, I didn’t expect this story to be wildly successful. Just something I thought could be out there on the shelf of a bookstore or in someone own personal collection.
It still can be. I have decided not to quit on this story and it’s characters. While, this was just this one person’s criticism there have been quite a few rejections and maybe this is what the others are thinking. Maybe it was what I was thinking deep down. As a writer I think I always knew something was off. It’s hard to see being so close to the story. Handing it off isn’t always easy either. Friends and families just give a once over and gush over the perfect. I was thinking of reading and editing one more time. Seeing if the narrative voice does need tweaking. I’ve been away from this character for some time. Fresh eyes can be all that’s need to make this story everything I know it can be. Even if, in the future, it’s not published I don’t think this was ever a waste of time. I’ve learned so much. Here I go, back to the writing board.
Writing Trips
When I had the money some days I would go to the MET. I would find a favorite painting, statue, or place, sit in front of it and write. Sometimes it was just a journal entry, an idea or a story. Sometimes it was nothing. When it was a story it was usually about what I stared at. I loved those days and miss them. I would go by myself. I could take the day and wonder wherever I wanted. There was no worry it wasn’t what someone else wanted to do. All that mattered was what my mind and writing hand wanted to do. Sometimes I would spend hours in one section or at one painting. But sometimes if the day was nice it was through Central Park for some nature inspiration. I hoped nothing would become to familiar or boring. That my mind would clear and my writing would take off. Sometimes I could write pages upon pages. The worst days were when no ink would leave the pen tip.
I looked for someplace closer. I use to write at the Starbucks by me. It was a long walk, and a noisy place. Before people yell at me for not supporting a nearby cute Mom and Pop cafe there isn’t one near me. Still this Starbucks feels like a homey cafe. Maybe it’s the small town feel surrounded area or the baristas who seem to know many customers that come in by name and their drink. All that’s missing is the to stay (London style) ceramic mugs. I liked the ambient cafe noise. I liked hearing the sound of steam hitting the milk as coffee foam was made and the people around me working or talking. In the cafe I could people watch. I liked catching meet and greets, business deals taking place, the old men playing chess or children and teenagers giggling and laughing just a little to loud. I liked being able to get any type of coffee or tea creation. Probably the one thing I never went for that most did was the free WiFi. I found it easy to shut off Internet access and write. I stopped going because of bad weather, calorie intake, and maybe that one nosy interrupting person.
Next I tried the library. It seems it has been the one place I have always had trouble writing. In one library I couldn’t get any work done. One of the Assistant Librarians knew me from around the neighborhood and would love to chat with me. He was loud for the library and even said embarrassing, inappropriate things that got looks from other patrons and workers. Needless to say it made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to be polite but it was an every visit occurrence so I stop going to that location and tried another. I realized from another library location I have always believed libraries are too quiet. Hearing every turn of a page can be maddening when I’m trying to write. I look up from the screen with every movement.
I think the best writing I do is when I’m on vacation or away. A new city, place, and constant stimulation. I know what I have to write about and the short amount of time I have to write. It’s not story writing but journal writing and who cares? I write like a fiend. (Sorry for the cliche). I don’t care about imperfections just as long as I get everything I want to remember down. The air, sights, sounds, and the events of the day.
Lately I’ve been writing from home. I make my own tea and use the Coffitivity or Rainy Cafe website to get the ambient sound I need to write. When I need to leave I take a walk around the block or to the dog park to clear my mind. It always helps to watch my dog, Lana, run free from the leash and tumble around with her doggy friends.
Do you find going someplace helps you write? What place has inspired you? Or do you need complete silence to get words down on the page?
Shaking Lounging Negativity
Ever read other people’s writing and think, “They are so much better than me. I’m hopeless. I should give up.” I’m not talking about strangers I’m talking about friends. For me writing is a struggle but they can write with such ease. They write and the first draft makes sense. They can sit down and write pages upon pages of a story with a word count over the thousands. Worst are the ones who never thought to write but they sit down and bang out a story. How much that hurts? It’s not their fault. I have been trying to be more confidence about by goals to be a writer maybe even an author. Sometimes I just don’t feel smart enough to succeed. I was always struggling through school. And while my mother always said do the best I could and didn’t pressure me to get top marks I pushed myself to be a good student. I got A’s in some subjects but no matter how much I tried I did get D’s and even F’s sometimes. Test for the classes I may have loved weren’t always kind. Sometimes the teacher and tutors weren’t helpful too. I can remember the negative as well as the positive but it is the negative I still fight against.
I had to keep reminding myself that just because that other student was a top student didn’t mean they would be successful. Hell, many now seem to have normal 9-5 jobs they hate and didn’t become famous or do better than me. But I am still reminded by the mean things that followed me through life. The tutor that told me, “You can’t expect to become a writer if you’re a bad speller.” Or the teachers who didn’t want me in their class because I was a “slow” student and would never “understand Shakespeare”. The adviser who told me my grades would never cut it in the profession I wanted and I should think about changing majors. The customers who were shocked I could read let alone read novels and told me I must be stupid because I was working as a cashier. Or the stranger at Starbucks that told me my goal for writing as an author was unrealistic. He said something like I shouldn’t expect to coast through life and I either had to get a job or married and pregnant because I’m not getting any younger. People.
I tried to not let it get me down. I tried to find ways around my weaknesses. At my essay exams I started becoming the Thesaurus queen so I could insert similar words to the ones I couldn’t spell. I went to the library and checked out Shakespeare plays and sonnets. I found I understood Shakespeare and even loved some I read. The adviser I went to in college didn’t help me and didn’t give me good advise but I didn’t fine out until I left college missing a few classes that would have looked good on my real world resume. So I try to hold on to the fact that I’m over coming and fighting to keep doing what I love no matter the “should’s” or “should nots” from strangers and listen to my loved ones who are great at incurring. I will keep going and try to fight for my passion.
All who read this, if you feel the need to say something to strangers’ maybe say nothing at all. You may mean well but when you don’t know the whole story you could be hurting someone. If you’re a teacher or tutor encourage and help a student learn. It may not be that you didn’t teach it right it could be the student has a different way of learning.
Everyday I fight the negative thoughts that have burrowed deep. I will try not to let hurtful words from memories bring me down today or in the future. I will try not to get angry with the ones who write with structure and ease because it’s not there fault I see their ease at writing as my failure. After all most of my doubts are only sticking with me because of my mind’s finger is on the repeat button. Guaranteed on the occasion you talk to your friends about their writing insecurities they will tell you they feel the same about other writer’s they have read.
Spring is here. It’s time for new growth. Time to get out of the house, feel the sun and warmth and shake the negative. Maybe feel inspired to write even if it’s not perfect…ever.
Making Writer Time
Last Monday through Thursday I did another week of a prompt a day and I think I was successful. Today I didn’t do a prompt. But today I felt I didn’t want to keep working on stories that may go nowhere. I wanted to start working on some ideas I have shaking around in my head. Today I started work on my short story. I think it’s the Irish spirit inspiring me to finally start since I want it to be a story about Irish folklore and fairies. Also, I’m hoping to start an outline for another story I thought up after a strange dream. Finally I hope to start writing my novel somewhere in between all of that. Who knows if publishing will ever come to past but nothing will get published if there is nothing written down to publish. So I write or do things writing related. Outlining, promoting, or brain storming.
Thursday night into Friday morning I slept a only few hours. I couldn’t find the energy to get my brain to form words on paper. Really, I tried, but I could barely form words into speech. I promoted my Facebook Author page to friends. I think it was a successful writing day since I worked on something writing related and my page has 28 likes as I’m typing this so YAY! And more positive news is I still have some open queries to agents floating around so my little guy still has a chance. I guess what I’m saying is I’m trying to make my life more about writing. Even on the days my mind tries to fight my positive progress. Grabbing at straws? Maybe. But nothing is going to happen without practice and forward motion.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all and Irish blessing all around.
Prompt Progress
I’ve been doing well writing my daily prompts. I’ve been posting my progress and what prompts I use on my Twitter and Facebook. If you haven’t been following here is a review of the prompts I used the last few days, word count, and the process I’ve noticed in my writing. I’m thinking if you read it and see a prompt you like you can try it. I’ve been googling a lot of these prompts from different sites and generators. Also, the prompts used I write about a page, singled space on Word. I prefer to type my prompts and I do go over the page mark when I’m on a roll with my story. I figure this isn’t college so I can bend the rules since they are my rules.
I won’t go over Friday and Monday’s prompts other then to tell you what they were. My last post I wrote about the writing progress and my word count but I never posted the prompts that gave me inspiration.
Friday’s prompt was, “The city burned, fire lighting up the night sky.” and Monday’s was, “Write a favorite outdoor childhood memory. First person, present tense.”
Tuesday was, “He wanted her job and it would be easy enough to take.” I had a little trouble staying in third person. I kept catching myself drifting into first. I did write a nice (clique) twist at the end but I did write 670 words.
Wednesday I wrote 801 words using “Outside the cabin, the wind howled through the trees, while inside, the old woman’s fire was nearly out.” It was a great prompt. I went the horror route on this one. It is just so fun to put a sweet looking old lady in a creepy cabin. My writing was more focused.
Thursday I wrote 592 words with the prompt that started, “She kept checking her phone and email, wishing someone would make contact.” This prompt’s story line ending up being based some feeling had a few years ago. It was quite therapeutic but I couldn’t for me write the ending.
And today I ended the week strong with 774 words. The writing prompt was about a character stuck in a zombie apocalypse. Another fun, imaginative exercise. My writing is becoming more distributive but next week I have to work on sense of smell. I see my characters are describing their feels and hearing scary things but they haven’t smelled much. I want to work on a clear picture of surroundings that readers can see.
SO that’s it. Do you think you will try any of these prompts? Do you know any good prompts you think I should try? I would love to here from you.
Random Thoughts 
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