Ending The Last of Us

Naughty Dog has done it again. I just finished playing The Last of Us on PS3 and I am blown away. Late start, life, and responsibility kept getting in the way but I’m so happy I continued to come back. Seriously once I started playing, I don’t think I had a choice. The story line was amazing.

A fungal infects humans and spreads. Twenty years after the outbreak civilization has dramatically changed. Infected humans are everywhere and survivors turn and kill one another for food, weapons, or whatever they can get there hands on. Joel, a survivor is hired to help Ellie, a fourteen year old girl, travel across country. They meet few people that help along the way but what they face is a dark, brutal journey of infected, renegades, and cannibals.

Without spoilers I will tell you the first 10 minutes of the game will most likely have you in tears. I know I was fighting them back. For the rest of the game the characters and their relationships are developed gradually and with such care that it really helped me feel for them and keep playing. I have to complement Naughty Dog on writing dialog, especially between Joel and Ellie. They share real and touching moments that got me deeply invested. It also lead to some suspenseful scenes. This is not the standard, shoot through everyone, game. You are encouraged to sneak around your enemy. The sneak option left me on the edge of my seat with moments where I forgot I could breath while playing these scenes. (Yeah, I’m one of those type of players.) I just kept saying, “Someone’s going to die”.

One of the hard parts for me was the scene I played Joel, hanging upside down while waves of enemies come at you. I did have trouble with the shooting in this scene and some others. But I’m not always a good shot in any game (Not an expert gamer.) so I really liked the sneak option. It is a kill or be killed sort of world. The violence and killing Joel commits seems like a man who has been doing this job too long. I was shocked by the ending. Warning: SPOILERS. For those who plan to play and/or haven’t finished and are reading this, stop reading here if you don’t want to know the ending. I don’t think I can be vague anymore.

Okay. So, I was expecting a dismal end for one or both of the characters. At the end, some of the things Joel does is just hard to watch. But I understand his state of mind. No longer transporting a package, he is more like a father and he will do anything to protect Ellie. And Ellie trusts and believes everything Joel says because look at all they’ve been through together. Does she know? I don’t think so. I believe Ellie would die to cure humanity and Joel knows. That’s why Joel lies. I was not disappointed. I liked it.

Wow this almost sounded like a review. That wasn’t my intention. I just finished the game and I needed to get all this out.

Writing Fever

I write better at times away from home. Is it the clique atmosphere that makes the brain click and starts it running with poetic verse? Or is it the different location. The place that is not your own. New sensations? If it’s the nature noise and the city quite or the drown of the city’s loud buss and the stillness of the rural areas. Away, the words come. The mind loosens up. There is distance between your T.V. or fast internet and you can’t drift away from the page. The clock’s clicking doesn’t echo or count down but the word count increases.

A Poem By Me

I wrote this a long time ago. I have had it on my Writer’s Café account with very little feedback and since I haven’t posted here enough this month I will share this poem. (Sing song-y nervous). What do you think? General impressions?

Muse

I want to drown in my drink
Let the chilled murky liquid fill my lungs
Weigh my pockets with ice
Numb the fat tongue.

When it’s heavy on my mind
There’s no need to help me find the bottom
Just fill my empty glass
I’m drinking deep.

Hey Bartender give a tip
What was once sugary around the lips
Crystallized to a crust
I’m all tapped out.

New Year Reading Resolutions

I don’t believe in New Year Resolutions. Resolutions have a tendency to not get done when made in the beginning of a new year. Either we give up or make them too big and overwhelming. If you are planning to do something you could do at anytime during the year then you don’t need a new year to prove or change anything. My only New Year Resolution this year are writing, travel, and to complete the Goodreads 2014 Reading Challenge. While I don’t have to worry about my writing or travel future (Montreal. YAY!), I do have to come to terms with my reading goal being less than last year. I have to keep reminding myself that I plan to read thicker books in 2014. I shocked myself with my completed books of 2013. My goal was forty five and I read forty six books! For me that’s a lot when I consider myself a slow reader. I had increased the number mid-year and in December I didn’t think I would finish but I did.

Maybe it’s cheating but I like starting low with the option to increase. A few books on my to-read list this year are A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin, and Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. I don’t know if I really want to ask this next question for fear of adding more books to my already too big to-read list but what do you hope to read in 2014? Do you have a reading number goal?

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Tea and Books.
Some books I read in 2013.

How Writing Is like Training A Puppy.

Sunday, my Other and I adopted a puppy. She is a 3 1/2 month mutt and she now has a home with us. We named her Lana. She is gentle, sweet, and starting to get into trouble but we all keep teaching and learning. Even if it would make a good excuse I can’t give up my writing schedule with my new arrival. Instead, I’ve adjusted to writing when she’s napping. (Puppies nap a lot). While going through the puppy training steps I couldn’t help think it’s like the writing process. (Now, bear with me.)

Have a safe place. For Lana, it is her crate, under a table, or behind a Christmas tree. I am happy to report by day three her safe place is her pillow, carpet, and crate. And this shy dog just needs a few minutes to adjust to new situations. For me, it’s my desk, the living room couch, or Starbucks (I like the hustle). I find my distraction is less in these places but it took me some time and experimenting to figure this out. I remember trying a local library once and it was a waste of time for me. One time the librarian working knew me and wanted to chat. I tried to explain what I was doing but it leads to more conversation. Another library I happen to run into someone who remembered me and wanted to catch up. Trail and error but we are finding where we are most comfortable.

Set a schedule. It’s best with a new puppy to set schedule for walking, feeding, and playing/training. With writing it is best to set a schedule, for writing, editing, and story outlining. Maybe morning you write best, and after lunch, you edit the piece from three months ago. Great! Keep it up. You’ll start to notice you write or edit most those times with speed and ease. Both schedules teach the puppy or brain when it is time to do your business.

Be consistent. My puppy is improving every day with her daily schedule of walks, encouragement, and training she has learned her name and where to pee/poop. I constantly struggle with being consistent with my writing schedule but I have been improving. I know I need to keep up writing five days a week (for you maybe writings every other, after or before work) but I seem to do that for a month and stop. But I keep trying and I’ve seen improvement. Also, I see what my writing is like after a long dry spell. Less description and imagination. It is best to keep writing so your brain knows when it’s time to turn on and get those creative juices flowing. Don’t wait for inspiration. Your work will be few and far between. Write every day and inspiration will come more often and when there is paper and pen.

Don’t overdo it. Lana training has gone far in the few days we’ve had her but we have tried to limit what we teach and for how much time. She’s not going to learn anything tired. We try to not train for too long and try to notice when she is tired. A tired puppy won’t learn anything. Don’t want to stop all the good writing vibes but your brain needs time to rest and reboot. Sometimes when I finish writing a scene I put the story away. If I have more ideas in what direction to take the story I’ll write a next section outline and step away. Be patient. By letting my brain rest I find the next day I can write that scene longer and with more excitement then if I kept going. This is not always true. I have written two or more scenes in a row but after many writing sections, I have learned to listen to my writing brain and sense if it’s getting tired and if it can go the distance of the next scene. It’s exciting but remember, it takes time. Don’t want to give up completely because you’ve mistaken overwork for writer’s block.

The puppy is waking up and it’s time for my writing brain to rest. Below is a picture of Lana (the real reason you’ve been reading). Enjoy and continue writing.

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Lana: The New Addition

Struggling

I want to write but when I sit down all that fills my paper is tears. The pen cuts deep. It skips past the words I need and leaves me alone with scribbled mess. No character comes to mine. No scene with the scent of nature or city. No story.
Just tear it up and toss it out. Another useless day. Glassy eyes with mirror reflection of failure. The fight is gone.

Work in progress….general impressions.

The Disappearance Of The Clock

I woke by springing upright in bed. The screeching sound first coming from my dreams then somewhere in my room. The glow of my cell phone reflecting erie shadows onto my walls. Thank you NYC emergency service alert for the potential flood advisory in the area. My warning: I am awake. With this extra time I thought I would be using for sleeping I figure it was time to write on this thing.
I’ve been slacking on updating this blog. First, I thought I had nothing to write about. Second, I been procrastinating with the help of Skyrim. That game has a way of wasting hours without me even knowing they passed. The fighting and finding items in quests suck in my attention. Even the slow activities (black smithing, enchanting, and selling) seem to fast forward my clock. The true time suck, the new cable box not displaying the time. Before the disappearance of the cable clock I was focused on the game and the quest but always with an eye on  the time. Now, my line of vision has no clock to nag me with how much time I spend playing. It’s true for my writing too. When I put up the full screen document view and I have a supply of words I know I need to get down, time is not an issue. Cover the computer distractions (mostly internet browsers)  along with the clock and I’m writing. I realized, typing this out, the clock may be my enemy. I wonder if it’s just the digital clock or would the same time hover happen if I had a analog clock over my desk or T.V. A theory to test one day with my game play not my writing. 

Wattpad Or WritersCafe?

I have an account on both sights and I was thinking of using one and deleting the other. I been trying to cut down the number of social site’s I’m a member of and two communities where I can post my creative work seems excessive. Which to keep and which to throw away?

I have posted one poem on WritersCafe and receive a few comments. I was thinking about posting the same poem on Wattpad and see if I get more advice but the “Are you sure you read the terms” pops up and it makes me jumpy. When posting on the net there is always that fear your hard work will be stolen, hated or lost but why is Wattpad making sure I’ve read them? Is there something buried deep in lawyer language saying I’m selling my first born? (Trying to be funny here but seriously is there?) Also, does anyone really ever read the terms and conditions? (Eddie Izzard joke.)

But what to do? Have you experience on either or both writing sites? Which do you like and why?

The Treasure Hunt In The Old Attic

My attic is filled with four generations of stuff. As I’ve been finding mostly paper (old pay-stubs, and black drawing paper) the garbage bags have been filling up. I did find my walker from when I was a baby. (Picture below.) I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with it. I’m thinking about throwing it in the trash but something is causing me to hang on to it. I don’t remember any memories just vaguely remember the design of the seat. It’s not something I can use in the future for a child. The metal surround the vinyl seat looks like it’s ready to collapse into a death trap. I do love the little bumper in the front. The foam feels as if it would make a better shock absorber than the plastic walkers on the market today.

If I keep it do I use it as a Halloween prop from next year’s decorations? Would any museum, store, or production what it since it is only 30 years old? The walker’s not much of an antique. It’s hard giving or throwing away something you know was yours even if it is a stiff old walker.

Just a heads up, the next few post will be objects I have been finding in my attic. I may blog about some found books, or old items/objects. Perhaps there is someone out there that can help explain what some belongings are and what they were used for.

Let the treasure hunt begin. (I finally feel like a Box Car Child.)

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Once My Walker

Can’t Sleep

My mind has been weaving yarns. But it’s not just my mind keeping me awake. My body twitches and itches. I’ve been up for over an hour tossing, turning, covering and uncovering. It was when I looked at the clock and I realized the last time I looked it read 4:55. Now it says 6:15 and I had to get up. I am a spider in the web until my eyes burn and I try to sleep again.