Category: Writing

Frustration With The Job Search

How am I supposed to show enthusiasm for every job I apply to if I am losing optimism in all my efforts? I have written so many cover letters. Long and short. Showing my excitement, maybe showing too much excitement. There are the sites that only allow one cover letter even if you are applying to multiple similar jobs with different requirements.  A company has contacted me! I figured they must have seen something they like. I tried not to get my hopes up and send what they ask. One week, no reply. Send nice follow up letter. One more week, “we went in a different direction”. Friends have sent me job applications, still turned down. Then there are the companies that don’t get back to you not even with a generic email to say you suck. (I understand why they don’t send emails).  And worst the companies that will give you a job but only if they don’t have to pay you. Would you like to build up your resume with our internship? How about a few more articles? We have over a million readers coming to our site daily. Don’t forget to flood your social feeds with your articles and did you ask you friends to like our page.

Tomorrow I’ll be fine. Write new cover letters, sent out a few more resumes, and maybe write a few 100 words towards a story. Today is the day to let out the frustration.

I Killed A Dragon

I’ve been playing Skyrim. (Now the title of this blog post makes sense.) I killed a dragon and I forgot to save the game in the excitement of my victory. I go to the next location press the wrong button and now I will have to do the whole fight over. I’m sad, frustrated, angry, and tired. Grrrr. I can’t believe I forgot to save.

It reminds me of the time last week where WordPress wasn’t saving my article as I typed. When I clicked on “refresh” in my confusion and the second after clicking I cursed me. I should know better. I worked for companies with horrible blog backends. I have lost hours of work with one button before. I don’t normally type my articles directly onto a WordPress post. I usually write articles in Word and copy and paste. Why?!

What I’m trying to write is, I’m not a quitter. I have to stop beating myself up. Everyone makes the same or similar mistakes more then once in life. I will go back and kill the dragon the second time so I can right my wrongs and move on in the game. Just like I have never quit on an article or blog post. I remind myself how the article is usually better the second time. All the thoughts are outlined. And it will not take me as long as it did the first time. YEAH! Determination.

Something I will do different. I will right my wrongs another day. This isn’t a job and right now Skyrim you’re not fun. (I still love you, just not right now Skyrim. You understand?)

Image Obtained From Andrew Whemphill’s WordPress

A Blessed Unrest

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

Martha Graham

Overwhelmed

How am I suppose to write all these stories slushing around in my head? How do I make them separately make sense? I know I can outline and organize but it is more then that. It’s that rushing and overwhelming feeling in the brain. All the ideas all trying to get out at once. The brain slows down like a few too many computer programs running. It’s the story you said you write with a friend, the query letter not coming together, some fixes for that first draft, and the new story ideas all picking this one moment. 
I hate that moment. 

Mistakes Help Build

My mom keeps getting more plants that need to stay indoors over the winter. Our little porch was getting cramped with every new addition. The two seater breakfast table was full with starter seeds and the stereo top was home to a basil, aloe, and gardena plant. When I looked to buy an A-Frame plant stand, $120 just seemed to much. When I explained and showed my Other he was the pro building voice. Thanks to the net we found these A-Frame Building plans. Before I go any further I just want to say to any DIY or carpenter expertes, please keep in mind, we were building noobies and this is all the fun we had learning.

We started at Home Depot. My Home Depot didn’t have pocket screws, or Kreg Jig so we had to order and wait. We borrowed the Saw from my other’s dad and we already owned a screw driver. Mistake number one was probably buying oak instead of pine. My first time cutting wood was SO MUCH FUN! Don’t worry after the picture I tied back my hair and closed my jacket. While I wore protective eye wear and ear plugs, we later on read we could have skipped the gloves. After we cut all the wood we needed we celebrated with high fives but we forgot to take off the gloves and coughed on the saw dust that rain down around us.

When the jig and screws came in the mail we started making wholes in the supports. The first use of the jig the drill bit given in the kit broke. We had a bit with the screw driver so we switch to that. The people of Kreg are awesome and are replacing the broken drill bit. I didn’t find the drilling as fun as the saw. I left the math to my other so I thought it was odd when the measurements didn’t make sense. He showed me the jig and drill collar measurements he was using. I questioned if arrows mark the spot, not the bottom, and if the top not the bottom of drill bit collar should match the line. He gave me a look. You know the look. As if to say “you had to be so smart”. I did what anyone would do seeing that look and slowly backed away. Really, my other was fine with the mistake and how smart I am. I was just I’m glad it was him making the mistakes and not me because he is more laid back.

After we fixed all the wholes we were on the right track and finished the stand. My mom loved it even with all the mistakes. We have our stereo and breakfast nook cleared. This is the first time I have built something and I can’t wait for the next project. We are looking to build a work bench because using an old outdoor table was a challenge.

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My First Cut!
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My other cutting.

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The Top Of the Collar Should Level With Line.
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Arrows Mark The Spot

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You Can See Some Mistakes
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Butt Hinge on the Inside.
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Making Shelf….Ignore Messiness Please.
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Sorry For The Blurry Picture.
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Completed!

They Are Coming

It’s all over the news. It sounds like a horror movie come to life. Could you imagine waiting 17 years for sex? That’s what the cicada does. At least that is what I’ve been hearing on the news.

I leave in New York and any day now I will be hearing the male mating call of the cicada. For 17 years they live as larvae feeding on tree roots. They are already rising from the depths as soil’s temperature reach 64 degrees Fahrenheit. They will emerge, shed their hard skin, and spend the next five weeks trying to get laid. Sounds like college.

I didn’t have the garden 17 years ago. I was 14 and preparing for 8th grade graduation. Before that it was my mom and dad working the garden. (Huh, I should ask Mom if she remembers what her and Dad did.) Anyway, today I looked up if they would bother my vegetable garden planting. I was thinking, they’ve been underground all that time. It must take a lot of energy to climb out of the ground, sing and get it on. Therefore, they must be hungry? So, I’ve investigated using the World Wide Web. After much searching I’m satisfied they like trees. The vegetable garden should be fine. Panic subsided. Also, I learned the cicadas can be eaten but I will leave that to the imagination.

Now I wait and see if the Cicada song will drive me crazy because pictures of them creep me out. **Shivers**

Green Thumb May Be Present

This post is late because I had to finish a book. It is number two in a trilogy and called, Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor. Couldn’t tear myself away from the last 100 pages. Now I have to wait for the third to be released to find out what happens. I don’t know if I should scream, growl, or cry.

Now, for some patience rewarded and what I’m really going to write about are the little seedlings I planted almost a month ago. I had no information on how long it would take to see green and I had some worry nothing would come from the seeds. I know Basil seeds grow quick because I grew Basil before and two to three weeks was written on the seed package. But I had no information on the Romanian seeds. Finally, last week I started seeing green! It’s so rewarding to see those little leaves peak up from the dirt. If you have been reading my post, “Grandma was right” will make perfect sense. If not, Grandma had dried pepper seeds and told me they would work better that the package seeds were crap. The pepper seeds showing off their green are Grandma’s.

Below are some pictures of the seedlings. It seems some seeds didn’t make it. Some people are telling to not loss hope so I keep watering dirt.

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Three pepper starters in the row and one Endiva on top. Looks like a few didn’t make it.
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Beginnings of Basil

Brave Enough

Saturday I heard Sara Bareilles live for the Brave Enough Tour. It is a short tour she is doing with just herself on stage, performing and to promote her new album, Brave. It was her second show on the tour and it was amazing.

My Other and I drove from New York to New Haven, CT. The concert was held at Toad’s Place, a small and intimate venue. I liked the venue put out seats. Being short, I had a better shot at seeing the stage without getting trampled. The line was long and we showed up about 30 minutes before the doors opened. As always I thought the line was long when we showed up but I’m glad we got there when we did. The line continued to stretch as we waited. When we were inside we grabbed seats. As the venue filled, it became more difficult for others to find seats. I wasn’t going to go to the merchandise counter because I didn’t need another shirt (or so I kept telling myself). The nice people sitting behind us bought a tour poster and my other asked how much. The price soon didn’t matter. Sara Bareilles signed 250 posters. First I stood on the queue but when I finally got up to the counter the nice people selling merchandise told me they ran out and Sara was signing more. There was 10 minutes before the show began so I could some after and “chance” getting one. Chance is right. Anyone who has ever been to a concert knows if you want to beat the crowd you go to the merchandise counter before the show begins not after. The man told me I could always try during the show.

During the show, thinking I was being smart, I only brought up one credit card, and my ID. While he was trying my credit card I filled out one of Sara’s Brave Enough post cards. It’s a little art project she is doing with a friend. They want to know what you have been brave enough to do. I filled out one while I waited. I wrote, “To write about everything and nothing <3”. Of course, when my credit card didn’t work I had to go back to my seat to retrieve another. The man probably thought I was crazy because I started to walk away but looked back. He said, “I’ll hold on to them for you till you come back”. I think he thought I was looking back at the posters longingly but I was looking to make sure I wasn’t spazzing and leaving anything behind. I was already cursing my bad luck at my seat when my other went back to try and had no problems purchasing the posters.

After that the concert went on without a hitch. It was just Sara on stage being brave enough to perform by herself. She was amazing. She made me sing, laugh, and even tear up. She did two new songs off her new album, “Brave”, one called “Manhattan” and the self titled “Brave”. The concert sounded more like jam section. I loved the bass guitar she played during her song “Come Around Soon”. The song sounded so much more personal. Sara also made me tear up during her song “Gravity”. I love all her songs but she didn’t perform “King of Anything” which I think my Other was hoping to hear. Sara still impressed with her vocal abilities, writing, and instrument playing. She is goofy, funny, and enlightening with all her life stories and audience interaction. After the concert was over, my Other mentioned a hoped Sara may put out a live album from this tour.

Only one thing upset me. A couple across my aisle one row ahead played a phone game during her rendition of Elton John’s “Yellow Brick Road”. I guess they were not familiar with the song because once it was over and she started to sing another song they were on there feet moving and singing alone. I guess you paid for the tickets and you get to do whatever you want but I just think about the one person missing out because this concert was sold out. Plus, I think it’s disrespectful. It’s takes a lot, even well-known or famous, to stand on a stage in front of strangers and sing. At least listen. Right?

Anyway, I was surprised it was only an hour and a half show but there was no opening act so I think that made it felt quicker then most shows feel. Besides, I’m bias. I think I could listen to Sara Bareilles voice forever belting out old favorites and new creations.

Below I posted some pictures. Sorry for the burry face. I was, about 20 rows back and with the lights my camera phone struggled.

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Goodreads Interaction

I was shocked today when an author I don’t personally know noticed me.

I have heard friends tell me they have had interactions with authors after they reviewed a book on Goodreads that they read. Most friends I follow on only rate the books. But some write proper reviews with summary, pros and cons. Those are the ones that have been contacted by authors. I have written full book reviews when I worked for The Celebrity Cafe but I became lazy with Goodreads. The book site has become a place for me to discuss, research, and keep track of the books I read without worry of a grade, credit, or paycheck. As a result, when I finish a book, I only write what I liked and what I disliked and why.

I recently read the “Ghost Planet” by Sharon Lynn Fisher for a book club I joined called Vaginal Fantasy Hangout with Felicia Day, Veronica Belmont, Kiala Kazebee and Bonnie Burton. (Each month I watch, with many others, these awesome ladies get together and discuss the month’s books in a Google Hangout.) The book was a pleasant surprised. After I finished I wrote my tiny little blurb. The next time I signed on I had a notification that Sharon “liked” my review. Not realizing whom Sharon was I clicked on the name and was brought to the author’s page. From her page I see this author is very involved with her work. Nevertheless I was still astonished.

Can you believe that?

The End Is The Beginning

That is everything from my Tumblr blog. My past. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to receive all the new followers, likes, and comments. I have a renewed view on my writing. I mean, it is one thing to hear “that’s a great piece” or “you have some real skill,” etc. but to see feedback as little as a like, it’s a big deal. At least to me.

I promise your reader feed will not be flooded with post from me. From here on I will try to post on a schedule. Weekly at least. So until then.