Tonight I’m up. Don’t know why. When I’m awake I start thinking. Or am I awake because I can’t stop thinking.
Was thinking about traveling. A few weeks ago a cousin was posting picture of their trip in Orlando and my mom and I talked of going. Should I plan a trip now? It would make me happy. Love getting away. Haven’t been to the parks in so long.
Other view is I don’t have a job. No income and no matter how much I look and apply nothing seems to be coming my way anytime soon. Another truth is what happens if I don’t want another Monday- Friday 9-5 job. Bland office with no natural light. Or a window with a view of another building. Or just a cube of tack board. Maybe switch my thinking to maybe working with fun, good people. Making money. Being challenged.
Do I really have a choice?
Need to find a story to write. I write little separate stories. Stories about crazy girls, adventurous animals, or everyday tasks but nothing turns into a novel. I do write better away. Every night I write about my day. Every day I write!
Thinking is my problem. All this thinking about everything and I get no where. Certainly not to sleep. Grrr.
Maybe focus on how I feel happier. Just remember how unhappy I was and how I finally found something inside me (courage, strength, false sense of hope) to be happy.
I’ll most likely delete this later… It’s what I do.