Saturday I planted the garden. Since the temperature stayed in the mid 60s and the sun was in and out if the clouds it was a perfect day for gardening. My mom, boyfriend, and I pulled up all the weeds we could and turned over the ground. We mixed in four bags of compost manure. We laid down the rubber seeping hose and decided where the plants would go. Last year we used the fabric weed block and within a month it was worn down, tearing, and the garden was over run with weeds and grass. I was disappointed since I was trying to make my garden as environmentally friendly as posible. This year we went back to plastic. As a friend says, “If you are 79% environmentally friendly I think you are doing better than most”. We laid the plastic, pinning as we rolled it out, making sure to have a nice overlap at seams. We cut a “X” in the plastic enable to dig a hole for the plant. I grew the red peppers from seed this year but we bought the other plants all ready established. We planted Big Boy and Beefsteak tomatoes, eggplants, cucumbers, and two green bell peppers. Below is a picture of the completed project.
When you’re hungry and it clouds what you would want to eat. So you become starving and eat anything. So unsatisfying.
I did go for a walk today but it was not enough. I need to get out of the house. This weekend wasn’t the only time I’ve been staying in the house. I stay in all the time. I have been driving with no destination. New York to Jersey to New York but think I need someplace to drive to. Someplace that wants me. Maybe someplace I could write. I’m so close to finishing.
I have been trying to plan a vacation but I have had no help from the other person. It has completely sucked the fun I have planning a vacation. Should have made uncertain plans during the commercials of Top Gear so I could call the place a dozen more times.
After this weekend I am believing it is better to be alone. I am and do better alone. I’m tired of people ignoring me instead of saying, “I hate you”. I’m tired of people saying they will be there for you when they will be but only when it suits them. I’m tired of not being able to give up. I’m tired of getting no where. I’m tired of men taking advantage of me. I’m tired of people asking am I all right like I’m not allowed to be anything other than happy. I’m tired of worrying about everything and I’m tired of not being tried. I’ll just live in my head, put it on paper, and make a story.