Unemployed Rant

March 13, 2012

I am unemployed. My “free” time is looking and applying to jobs. I have projects I am working on but they are not producing money just yet. I hope this blog doesn’t put me or others in a poor light but just because I’m unemployed doesn’t mean you can take advantage of my time.

I guess most people have the image of an unemployed person sitting in their parents house, watching TV or playing video games and doing nothing not trying to benefit themselves. Unemployment is seen by some to be a wanted life of not having to do anything and not having go to the office from 9-5 and deal with whatever it is you hate dealing with at work.

So people are kind and will offer me a job to help them out in their business. First these people never give you a properly figured out time schedule. It will always only take one day or a few. They make it sound like this is a job you are helping them with when in the end you are doing it by yourself. They always tell you while you are doing the job how much they didn’t want to do it so they waited till last minute and than gave the job to you. If it happens to take more then the one day (which it does) they can string you along. Whether they intend to or not is never clear but I do believe one thing, because you are unemployed they think you need this and will wait for them to be ready.

Now I am frustrated. I worked one day on a tedious project. I thought it was me helping this woman. I worked on the project alone. I didn’t realize how big the project was going to be. I worked the whole day. I only took a break to eat. I didn’t waste time smart phoning. At the end of the day I was no where near finishing this project. I waited days being told they had more important things to take care of so the project was off. Weather got bad so no project. Months have gone by and this person called yesterday. I was busy so I didn’t get a chance to call her back. They called again this morning. I guess what else do I have to do since I’m out of work but jump when they say so.

Before you think I’m whining and tell me:

this person is trying to “helped” you
they could really use the help
It’s some extra cash for you
It should only take a few days what else are you doing

I don’t agree. Maybe it’s best you stop reading.

Worst is friends will try and make it sound like you should be thankful. I don’t need to be congratulated because I’m getting payed or helping out someone. I don’t need you to be excited for me or cheer me up when I try to explain to them my frustration.

Maybe I did make a mistake majoring in a subject I am passionate about, a subject I enjoy. I should have majored in a subject that would guarantee a job. I should have struggled and hated a career just because it paid well.

Most think I should have become a nurse like Mom. It pays and has great benefits. Yes, I could have became a nurse, doctor or assistant but don’t you feel the problem with the medical profession is most people never wanted that profession in the first place. Don’t you see and feel when you walk into a doctor’s office the assistant who could really care less about how you feel. The clinic that just moves you alone to just get you out. The elderly hospital that leaves someone in a wet bed because it’s not their job to clean them. That’s a human being! That could be you mother or father! I’ve seen people not help someone to the bathroom because that was not there job. Really?! That person is just asking for a helping hand. But no, they will get the nurse.

Maybe I should have stayed in my dead end retail job with no health care benefits, poor pay, or appreciation just because it was a job. I did love hearing everyday customer’s insults and put downs because I was a “dumb” cashier. Yes, I was a cashier but that doesn’t mean I’m not educated.

It is a bad economy but I don’t think that gives anyone the right to take advance of others. People should be more considerate. I hate talking about the economy, hearing advice about job searching and I hate how I should have went into this or have I thought about that.

I paid my way through college. I have no loans. You picked and payed for your child’s college so they graduate with a job. You gave them a car. They still get in trouble and their grades drop. I think I am more than capable of getting any job. I’m looking for something more filling. But thanks for helping me waste my time.

Sorry for the vent.

 

Job Searching

March 12, 2012

To bad there isn’t a box I can check stating, Scared to Death. It would forgive any mistakes I made in the cover letter after I send it out. I know from experience one mistake can prevent you from getting a job. I kicked myself when I didn’t send a follow up saying, “I did see I made this mistake after I sent it.” But company probably would have still told me to bad. Maybe do better next time. Wish I sent a cover letter with a resume recently to a job in Georgia. Guess I don’t have to worry about moving.

Scared to death because it has been so long since I’ve had a job, I wonder if I even know if I’m going in the right direction. Scared to death because I’m tired of the 9-5 grind in a dull office with no or so few windows that look out at another gray building. Tired of working my ass off and getting nothing because I didn’t participate in the employee ass kissing contest so I’m ignored.

Wish I could be some genus and think of some great idea and I could be the boss or co-boss of. Don’t have the mind for it. To fearful. Wish I could stop searching, stop worrying, and just be happy.

Runaway

March 9, 2012

Just pack up and leave. Never to return. Travel the world through road-trips and flights. See history, concerts, and art in architecture. Let natures colors change with the location of latitude and longitude. Find a little apartment in another town or city and take some random job that pays the bills and leaves a little left over for savings and fun stuff. Forget all the people from the past. Meet new people for the future or just right now.

Boredom

February 26, 2012

I just don’t seem to be interested in anything. It is looking like a dull night. The Oscars have messed with my TV watching tonight. I have a book I must finish but I can’t seem to sit and read it. Only the hum of the refrigerator, the click of the clock, and the clicking of my fingers on the keyboard. 

One way to fight my boredom is with writing but even this has come difficultly.

Random Thoughts today:

Why haven’t I read any Hunter S. Thomas? I am finding some quotes I like and now I wonder if I would like his writing. This puts me at a disadvantage since I promised myself I wouldn’t buy anymore books this year (at least during lent) without reading some of the ones I own and haven’t read yet. 

There is always the Library.

Quotes:

“Faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death” 
– Hunter S. Thompson

and

“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” 
– Hunter S. Thompson

Oh and the question from earlier. Should I start another Tumblr to just reblog and keep this one just for my experimental writing. Still thinking about that. Maybe just keep it the way it is. Liking and posting.

Now some physical writing….maybe.

Hungover

February 20, 2012
My mouth is thick. My cheeks grow with every scratchy word. I am dishonest for pretty words. I trip over myself and secrets bruise memories. A fuzzy mess of desire. Not just flesh but mind. Both pink and ripe. An easy target. Dying for a time before. But everything is blue, purple, and black dripping with nothings. Hunt me. Find me. Destroy me.

Thank You Ravenswood Wine

February 15, 2012

Time to gush about Ravenswood Wine. Not only are their wines amazing but their customer service, even better.

I had to wait to post this because this gift was for someone else and I didn’t want to give away the present! It was more of a replacement gift.

We visited Ravenswood Winery in Sonoma California about two years ago. We tried tasty wines and walked away with their (If I remember correctly) complementarity Ravenswood logo wine glass with the black etching. Sometime after returning from the trip, I was doing the dishes for this person. The glass somehow cracked up the cup portion of the wineglass in the drain board. This person was very nice about it and now the glass just stands on a shelf. I don’t know why I didn’t think of replacing the glass sooner.

On their website you can only purchase their wine. I emailed them and I spoke to Kristin. She was so nice and helpful. I had told her I was in no rush but they shipped it fast and packed the glass well.

I will never touch/wash this person’s new glass. I should have ordered two so I could be better prepared if I crack another one but I know the people at Ravenswood wine are there to help me and my clumsiness.

If you ever get the chance to go to California, visit Ravenswood Winery in Sonoma.

Distance

February 10, 2012

I saw you but I don’t think you saw me. You were maybe a half a block away with your black windbreaker and red scarf hung loose around your neck. I had a feeling you would be out walking.
I didn’t call out to you. You were just out of range. I figured we would keep walking towards each other but then you turned the corner. Did you see me? I had my phone. I could have contacted you in someway but I just walked on.