Just pack up and leave. Never to return. Travel the world through road-trips and flights. See history, concerts, and art in architecture. Let natures colors change with the location of latitude and longitude. Find a little apartment in another town or city and take some random job that pays the bills and leaves a little left over for savings and fun stuff. Forget all the people from the past. Meet new people for the future or just right now.
I did go for a walk today but it was not enough. I need to get out of the house. This weekend wasn’t the only time I’ve been staying in the house. I stay in all the time. I have been driving with no destination. New York to Jersey to New York but think I need someplace to drive to. Someplace that wants me. Maybe someplace I could write. I’m so close to finishing.
I have been trying to plan a vacation but I have had no help from the other person. It has completely sucked the fun I have planning a vacation. Should have made uncertain plans during the commercials of Top Gear so I could call the place a dozen more times.
After this weekend I am believing it is better to be alone. I am and do better alone. I’m tired of people ignoring me instead of saying, “I hate you”. I’m tired of people saying they will be there for you when they will be but only when it suits them. I’m tired of not being able to give up. I’m tired of getting no where. I’m tired of men taking advantage of me. I’m tired of people asking am I all right like I’m not allowed to be anything other than happy. I’m tired of worrying about everything and I’m tired of not being tried. I’ll just live in my head, put it on paper, and make a story.